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Mamapolo2016 · F
I got married and 11 months later my husband was diagnosed with cancer of the brain. It was a new town for me, and my daughter had married and moved to New Mexico.
My daughter flew in when she could hear the lonely and scared in my voice. She loved her stepdad, too.
It was 14 months from the diagnosis to the day Tim died. He couldn’t be left alone because he had no sense of balance. I was trying to hang onto my job and hired a caregiver to be with him while I was at work. But there was no way except circumstantial evidence (he was clean, unhurt and not scared or angry) to know if they WERE taking good care of him.
There are few people you can call at 4 am when you’re terrified and half-mad. My daughter, of course, but I knew she had a job and responsibilities and a husband.
EP helped a lot. 24/7 access to listening ears, kind hearts (not everybody was kind, it’s the internet, but plenty were). Nights spent sleepless by his bed, hanging on EP, where someone was always awake.
SW is different, not identical, but still wonderful with good hearts and bad ones you can block.
Yes, I am grateful. Deeply grateful.
My daughter flew in when she could hear the lonely and scared in my voice. She loved her stepdad, too.
It was 14 months from the diagnosis to the day Tim died. He couldn’t be left alone because he had no sense of balance. I was trying to hang onto my job and hired a caregiver to be with him while I was at work. But there was no way except circumstantial evidence (he was clean, unhurt and not scared or angry) to know if they WERE taking good care of him.
There are few people you can call at 4 am when you’re terrified and half-mad. My daughter, of course, but I knew she had a job and responsibilities and a husband.
EP helped a lot. 24/7 access to listening ears, kind hearts (not everybody was kind, it’s the internet, but plenty were). Nights spent sleepless by his bed, hanging on EP, where someone was always awake.
SW is different, not identical, but still wonderful with good hearts and bad ones you can block.
Yes, I am grateful. Deeply grateful.
mindstruggle · F
@Mamapolo2016
I hear you so deeply. I do feel really lucky to have found places like SW (and EP before). EP, especially, was there for me when my father died, and I’ll never forget that. Before that, I had to stay strong while caring for him in the ICU, and also for my cousin battling another illness. Being a nurse, people look to me for strength all the tears and fears come to me, but I can’t always let myself fall apart. And around the same time, my brother’s wife was hospitalized after losing her baby during pregnancy. It’s been a lot to carry.
Through all of that, spaces like EP and SW became rare safe havens, places where I could share my grief, my fears, or just be human, without feeling like I had to be strong for everyone else. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve found here who notice when I’m down and try to lift me up. Even on the heaviest days, I know I’m not alone and that means more than I can put into words.
I hear you so deeply. I do feel really lucky to have found places like SW (and EP before). EP, especially, was there for me when my father died, and I’ll never forget that. Before that, I had to stay strong while caring for him in the ICU, and also for my cousin battling another illness. Being a nurse, people look to me for strength all the tears and fears come to me, but I can’t always let myself fall apart. And around the same time, my brother’s wife was hospitalized after losing her baby during pregnancy. It’s been a lot to carry.
Through all of that, spaces like EP and SW became rare safe havens, places where I could share my grief, my fears, or just be human, without feeling like I had to be strong for everyone else. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve found here who notice when I’m down and try to lift me up. Even on the heaviest days, I know I’m not alone and that means more than I can put into words.
Mamapolo2016 · F
@mindstruggle Beautifully put. I can’t find the words either. The closest would be - it’s a nest where, however briefly, one can find rest and warmth and comfort, which may sound hokey, but it’s true.
Infamous607 · 51-55, M
@Mamapolo2016 That must have been horrible. I'm sorry that happened. I know how that feels.
Mamapolo2016 · F
@Infamous607 It was pretty rough. He handled it like a trooper and I didn’t want to shame him with my behavior. I hope I didn’t.
Infamous607 · 51-55, M
@Mamapolo2016 I'm sure you didn't.