Losing a parent you replaced

I have recently just a few days ago found out my biological Dad has passed away, i am 33 now and when i was around 13 i went to live with another man who i called Dad after a few years and he was then what i saw as my Dad, the house i lived at with my biological Dad was not a good environment for a child he was depressed and an addict but he still loved me and he was still my Dad. However i left. Over the years i have seen him a handful of times but never had a consistent relationship with him because i was in fear that if i did people would think my new adoptive dad was not my dad. Its like i could not have 2 dads i didn't understand that you could, so because of what other people think i lost out on any relationship with my biological dad. And now he has gone, he was very depressed and the partner he had that was not living with him at the time has told me and my sister that he was always on facebook looking at what we had done and looking at our lives but was too embarrassed to reach out, he did not want us to see the way he was living and how ill he was. He was very depressed and apparently locked himself away in his flat, he had hardly any money and just not a nice environment in general. Yet i now have plenty of money a nice big house, a car, a good job i own properties and i never went back to give him anything or try to help him all because of other peoples opinions.
I am completely heartbroken and will never ever live my life thinking about others expectations. I will live a life true to myself and nobody else.


If you read this please be true, don't be embarrassed about anything, tell your latents you love them and tell your friends, be kind because although instagram quotes say it and its cheesy AF the truth is you never know what somebody is going through, be kind.