I took double the dose of ssri today in hopes it will make me feel better.

Did not. My jealousy issues persist. They will never go away. I feel so defeated by them. So controlled. Makes me want to puke. I feel it's because I don't have friends. I've always had a problem with sharing friends. I remembermy roommate and how we tried that no 3rd person should share a room with us. And when the inevitable finally happened, she would bond with the third person when we'd fight. My friends have always had other options. I've never had these options. So it makes me insecure when I see my only friend sharing a happy moment with someone else. Ugh. So fcking stupid. I know.