I’m done playing with fire…

@ViciDraco Sure but you can’t see my heart

@BrokenAbyss The heart is better felt than seen. Even the most keen eye can ever glimpse but a small fraction of the whole.

@ViciDraco Well then you don’t feel my heart. If one person cared for me, they’d see. But people are visual and only see surface level. They never offer only take.

@BrokenAbyss I've earned the right to neither see nor feel. Everyone takes, but there are those that also give out there. At least they try to give until they have been burned too often or too strongly and give up on it. Too few are those who know how to exchange. The take and the give together.

@ViciDraco I give too much. So much I’m a fool. I’m tired of getting burned for being a good person. It’s getting dire. I’m SO lonely, but when I reach out, when I go out, I just end up sobbing the proceeding day or more because, like, wtf is wrong with me?

@BrokenAbyss You are among the most human of us. Desperate for a real connection. The social aspect of our evolution calls out to you and in your eagerness to connect you are visible to the takers who wish to claim advantage. I don't know you fully, I never could, but your existence as a giver means there are other givers out there. But like yourself they grow ever harder to find as those who abuse make them jaded and afraid.

@ViciDraco I can’t take this loneliness much longer. But the only way to cure it is to try and make connections. It’s no comfort that I can’t. I hear you. It’s just my family is dead and I don’t even have anywhere to run for any connection at all. It’s destroying me. I don’t want to be jaded or bitter and I am. I am 😭

@BrokenAbyss You have every right to be bitter and jaded. If anything, I am perhaps performing a cruelty in try to offer hope without being able to do anything of real substance for you. Hopefully that is not the case and this attempt at engagement has been more positive than negative for you.

@ViciDraco I absolutely appreciate you and I’m glad you’re out there, but it does hurt. No one would say those words to my face. No one is coming.

@BrokenAbyss The future holds untold possibly. Only when we give up does the chance really end. Though to go on does mean to continue risking pain as well. Wish I could say it to your face. I can only offer my ear from a distance, but you have it if ever you need to vent. Be it public posts or an inbox, I'll read what you wish to write and share. It's nothing near what you need, but it is something I can offer.

@ViciDraco I can’t give up. Sometimes I really wish I could, but it’s not in me. I watched my parents give up, I know I can’t do that.

@BrokenAbyss I am glad that you cannot and sorry for the pain you struggle through.