Writing for myself, sharing my thoughts for people willing to read.

Every day I lose you more and more, your addictions consuming you in ways I don't understand. The darkness all so present, the pain that I can't help with. Everything I do isn't enough, because there is so much hurting you all at once its impossible for one person to make your life bright enough without them too being consumed by the plague that is the darkness, I know because it happened to me. I failed not only you, but my friends, my school, my future, myself. I failed my friends by distancing myself so this wouldn't spread to them. I failed my school by not going, afraid of what they'd say, despite them only trying to help. My future, myself, by giving up. I think all that's left is to say sorry, sorry to myself especially, because even though I failed saving you, I won't fail saving other people in the future, no matter how much it breaks my heart. But if it possible to break a heart that has already been shattered, tortured and traumatised by the things its seen and been through? I dont think so. But I do think I can possibly prevent it from happening again, and help other people going through situations similar or worse. I have a dream, and whether I get a job that allows me to do it or not, I dont give a damn. Being kind isn't a paycheck, its a privilege.