I miss freedom and spontaneity.

Don’t take for granted your ability to want to do something and just…being able to do that lol.

We’re going on a year of me being essentially trapped inside of myself with no prospect of regaining any of that independence. I’m just stuck and have to learn to be okay with that? Super lame tbh.

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PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

I’m sorry this chapter is lasting so long for you. I wish I could wave a magic wand and life could return to “normal” for you, whatever that normal means to you.

Unfortunately my own chapter of survival has left me with the inability to trust my own body. I try not to let that diminish my being present in the moment of normalcy that’s been gifted back to me, but I also know how everything can be fine one minute and completely sideways the next. It’s an unshakable feeling of fear because I’ve been unfortunate to have it look me in the eyes for too long, like it’s etched a piece of itself within me.

I do hope to one day be so immersed in life and the beauty it holds that it greatly lessens the echoes of that fear. And I hope that even more so for you 💞