Are you a well-travelled person?
How well traveled are you? What was your favorite place?
I'm sure that we all have friends that have never even left the county or state that they were born/live in. How many of you have had the chance to travel whether for vacations or even business? I was lucky enough to get to travel with my family alot when I was younger and now that I work in hospitality for a world wide company I will be setting out once again.
I have been to... Canada, Hong Kong (during British rule), Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, France, UK, Italy, Switzerland, and Monaco. I have to say that my favorite was actually Monaco. It was interesting they were their own seperate country despite their size and it was pretty much like a playground for many European celebraties and those blessed to be from the upper class. Not that I saw anyone notable nor would I recognize them if I did. What would you consider well traveled and how many people do you know that would fit that description? Why is "well travelled" an important attribute in a partner?
"Well travelled" seems to be a popular quality to have in partner on this sub. Prior to joining this sub I hadn't seen it expressed as much so I thought I would start a discussion:
How do you define well-travelled? I'll get straight to the point- I(29f) am a little insecure about dating someone who has travelled a lot more than I have. I come across a lot of profiles of men who have bag packed alone through Europe or say "20 countries and counting". I've travelled to a couple of countries but not more because most of friends travel with their partners and I don't have the confidence to travel alone. But I've definitely enjoyed traveling and would love to do more of it in the future.
Do men look at the lack of travel experience as a problem? I went a date once (first date) where the guy asked me straight up why I had only travelled to 3 countries and I just didn't know how to respond. What is a good way to respond to that? I have just been swiping left the well travelled profiles so far because I don't wanna be looked down upon by my dates but perhaps it's just all in my head.
Do you look at a persons profile/pictures for proof of this?
Why is it important? How well traveled is the average person in your country, and are you above average? I'm all for seeing and discovering new places, and experiencing new things, but only if I don't have other priorities, so going on out of town trips and spending money on the lodging, etc doesn't happen often for me, and I'm fine with that. I like the city I live in and quite frankly enjoy spending money here rather than the hassle of travel and doing similar things in another city. What is your opinion of a guy who is not well-travelled in spite of having the means to do so?
Guy in his mid 30s here. I have a great and stable career, am a homeowner, am financially secure, am a crossfitter, have above average looks, have a great group of friends, am funny and have really interesting hobbies (volunteering, beer brewing etc). However I'm not well-travelled. The only times I've travelled internationally outside the US have been to Canada (work trip) and Mexico (vacation with old college buddies). I grew up poor. Vacation and travel were not something we could afford growing up. They weren't really a priority. I honestly cannot remember going on a vacation with my family (even within the US). In my mid-twenties my circumstances changed. I secured a well-paying job and became financially well secure. However I never acquired a passion for travelling. Although now I have all the money and time in the world to travel wherever I like, I'm really not passionate about it.
These days I'm recently single (after a 9 year relationship ended). I created my profile on a bunch of online dating sites (match, OKC etc). I find that girls talk a LOT about their wanderlust and travelling experiences. A part of me feels like I've completely missed out on all these experiences. It almost seems that for many girls in my socio-economic bracket, the fact that I'm not well-travelled is a deal breaker for them. It's almost like they evaluate a person's worth based on the number of passport stamps they have :-) This brings me back to my question. Well-travelled ladies of reddit, what is your opinion of a guy who is not well-travelled in spite of having the means to do so? Who is the most well traveled person you know? Also who is the least traveled person you know? Did travelling have any impact on you as a person? People always talk about how it’s important to travel and experience new places. For those of you that have travelled did it change you in any way? Did you learn anything from it? Travelling and being well travelled are overrated
What’s so bad about wanting to stay in one place? It doesn’t make you small minded or boring. Travelling is stressful, expensive, tiring. It can be fun to see a new place but it always feels rushed to me. I hate being in a beautiful city I’ve never seen before knowing I’ve got seven days to experience it, you need a year to get to know a city properly. And I know there’s various ways of travelling that give you more time but that involves having months of free time which most people don’t. It never appealed to me even when I was younger, I like my quiet, mild corner of the world and I don’t think I should feel bad for not being exhilarated by the idea of ‘seeing the world’. Here’s what usually happens: I’ll match with the guy on hinge/bumble and we talk for a few days, follow each other on instagram, they’re nice and witty and are super excited to take me out. Then they plan something super nice like a fancy restaurant or a cocktail bar/speakeasy I’ve never even heard of and we meet. Everything is lovely and conversion flows, none of us feel like we’re pulling teeth trying to make it happen.
But doesn’t even have to take long and they start talking about their adventures and what not, which I don’t mind but the whole night becomes about them. It doesn’t even have to be a crazy travel story, sometimes it’s something crazy that happened in the city or something. But usually they want to talk about that one time they bought a ticket to India without knowing anything about the country or how they have visited like 30 countries already and during dinner they literally tell me the whole itinerary of the next trip without me ever asking lol I’ve only been to one other country besides the US and it’s only because I was born there. I grew up dirt poor and every time I have money to travel I just go back to my home country because my family could never afford to visit me in the US so it’s really hard for me to be like “oh yea the beer in Germany is really something else”
I do tell them what I’m looking for and for 5 minutes that’s the only part of the night where it isn’t completely about them and they give me the whole “I’m the type of guy that goes with the flow” which I already knew they were going to say. The crazy part is that they’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars to take a stranger out just to tell them their life story. My guess is they do this every week with a different girl. Their friends either were part of the story or are sick of hearing about how they got lost in Indonesia or whatever so they need to tell it to someone new to feed their ego. I just wonder what their end game is. They’re not interested in even having sex, they will react to all my instagram stories or be like “let’s do something soon”, sometimes I even meet their friends but they seem so nonchalant about it and it makes me believe they bring girls around all the time.
I guess if you just want to be friends just say it, that way I don’t have to keep my hopes up and you don’t have to spend all this money to give me the impression that you’re courting me when all you want is a pretty girl to be your therapist for the night. What's the deal with a woman stating that she is well-traveled/has travel as an interest being a red flag?
Discussion
I've seen this a lot lately on various lists of warning signs or bad attributes- a woman being well traveled or expressing an interest to travel. If an explanation is given, it's usually a fear of her "riding the cock carousel" or something in that vein. However... I don't find that to be completely convincing. While it's plausible that a woman who exhibits promiscuous behavior at home could possibly exhibit similar behavior overseas... traveling itself doesn't require that only sexually open people will travel. Plenty of women interested by the history, culture, or sights in a particular go abroad for those virtues alone, not sex. In my opinion, going overseas and spending your trip trawling for sex is an incredible WASTE of valuable time (and money spent) to explore a new setting as much as possible before you have to leave, so while it might be attractive to some people, most people serious about traveling would try to optimize their time.
I myself have been pretty fortunate when it comes to traveling- I've visited 12 countries and lived for an extended time in both China and Jordan for language acquisition and research purposes, both very formative experiences for me (with nary a penis in sight). Hell, now that I think of it, despite all my time spent overseas, I've only ever had sex in my native country. None of my traveling companions have, either. This leads me to believe that quite possibly, there's more at play: either the notion of foreign men repels some RPers (less plausible), or there is an underlying fear that a woman capable of traveling overseas herself/in small groups will be too independent for a TRP relationship or have broad horizons not easily contained, regardless of if she has done a sexual act abroad or not (more plausible). Any thoughts, friends? As an aside: what about domestic travel? Does the red flag extend to a woman who enjoys road tripping within the country or state? I am 28 and have never really traveled. Now I am concentrating on establishing my career. Is it feasible to travel later in life, even with a partner, or is it a 20 year old thing?
I know that's kind of vague. I need someone to explain this to me like I'm five. I want to concentrate on my career for a few years. What if I'm married at some point and I want to travel with my SO? How do you coordinate schedules? Do people save up and travel for long periods of time, like a few months or even a year? How do you do that? Is that a thing that people do? I feel insecure over the fact that I haven't travelled in 3 years
TLDR: is it possible to be the best version of myself without travelling? I travelled quite a lot in 2018. Studied abroad in Europe, solo travelled, etc. I was confident, happy, and felt the most creative and the most 'me' I've ever felt, and I think people picked up on that energy and I attracted lots of like minded friends and cool people. And since coming back I haven't been the same. I'm past my post travel depression now, but I still feel like I've missed out on so much 'growth' that I could've had if I had gone travelling the last few years. Technically I could travel now if I wanted to, but I'm choosing not to because I just started my first career job and I'm saving money to pay off my debt. Basically my question is - am I really "missing out" on personal growth. Is it possible to grow and be that best version of myself that I was when I was travelling, in my hometown? I just don't know if it's possible because obviously staying at home is not the same as stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting new people in a foreign country. When you meet people who have travelled, they give off a vibe, an energy, that people who have never travelled just don't have. And I don't know if I have that anymore or if I've lost it. I've been to just about 6 (7 if you want to count my planned/failed layer day in Spain) countries so far. I remember the first time I came back from my first solo travel to South Korea. Everyone was asking me how it was? was I scared to go alone? blah blah, the usual. But one day after my trip back from Romania (4th trip). Someone asked me about my trip and he seemed genuinely uninterest like you can tell in their tone of voice and their facial expressions, so after like 2mins I just changed the subject. I don't know why this affects me so much? Why did they even bother to ask? Was this just to start a conversation? I've known this person for years, So I thought it was kind of odd. I find myself talking about traveling with no one these days. So now when people ask, I usually just hit them with a "It was good, i enjoyed it, can't wait for the next one" and move on. I like sharing my experiences because I hope maybe one day I can inspire someone to pull the trigger and travel to a country they like. I understand that money is a big factor in this and I don't have a big budget either, in fact, I'm a pretty decent budget traveler. Maybe it's just because I prioritize traveling over everything else (cooking at home, not really going out, I buy clothes once every 2 years, even then I just get them from target). It doesn't have to be solo but just travel in general. What's the best piece of travel advice you've ever given/received? I have hobbies and see friends and family and basically have everything I ever wanted, but I’m depressed. I feel lonely and isolated (I work full time remote) and tired all the time. I think about the time in my life I was happiest and that was when I was solo traveling in my 20s. I was so happy. I traveled all over the world, found community in other travelers, and got to see and experience so many amazing things. I came out of my shell and felt confident in myself. Now I’m living the “adult” life, and it’s the path I feel I should be on, but why am I so unhappy? I can and do travel occasionally, but with the dogs and job and obligations here, I can’t travel much. If I have kids, it will be even harder.
When I think of giving this all up to travel, I feel like it would be amazing… at first. I did go on a 10 day solo trip to Ecuador last year and it was so incredibly amazing. I came back rejuvenated. But I mean, after some months… then what? I can imagine I will “discover myself” and find my calling but I won’t. I will get burnt out from travel and be alone and then what? And what about my boyfriend? My dogs? I dunno I just feel so depressed in my current life and not sure why. I’m always comparing it to solo travel and idealizing that. Anyone feel the same? Have any insight?
I'm sure that we all have friends that have never even left the county or state that they were born/live in. How many of you have had the chance to travel whether for vacations or even business? I was lucky enough to get to travel with my family alot when I was younger and now that I work in hospitality for a world wide company I will be setting out once again.
I have been to... Canada, Hong Kong (during British rule), Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, France, UK, Italy, Switzerland, and Monaco. I have to say that my favorite was actually Monaco. It was interesting they were their own seperate country despite their size and it was pretty much like a playground for many European celebraties and those blessed to be from the upper class. Not that I saw anyone notable nor would I recognize them if I did. What would you consider well traveled and how many people do you know that would fit that description? Why is "well travelled" an important attribute in a partner?
"Well travelled" seems to be a popular quality to have in partner on this sub. Prior to joining this sub I hadn't seen it expressed as much so I thought I would start a discussion:
How do you define well-travelled? I'll get straight to the point- I(29f) am a little insecure about dating someone who has travelled a lot more than I have. I come across a lot of profiles of men who have bag packed alone through Europe or say "20 countries and counting". I've travelled to a couple of countries but not more because most of friends travel with their partners and I don't have the confidence to travel alone. But I've definitely enjoyed traveling and would love to do more of it in the future.
Do men look at the lack of travel experience as a problem? I went a date once (first date) where the guy asked me straight up why I had only travelled to 3 countries and I just didn't know how to respond. What is a good way to respond to that? I have just been swiping left the well travelled profiles so far because I don't wanna be looked down upon by my dates but perhaps it's just all in my head.
Do you look at a persons profile/pictures for proof of this?
Why is it important? How well traveled is the average person in your country, and are you above average? I'm all for seeing and discovering new places, and experiencing new things, but only if I don't have other priorities, so going on out of town trips and spending money on the lodging, etc doesn't happen often for me, and I'm fine with that. I like the city I live in and quite frankly enjoy spending money here rather than the hassle of travel and doing similar things in another city. What is your opinion of a guy who is not well-travelled in spite of having the means to do so?
Guy in his mid 30s here. I have a great and stable career, am a homeowner, am financially secure, am a crossfitter, have above average looks, have a great group of friends, am funny and have really interesting hobbies (volunteering, beer brewing etc). However I'm not well-travelled. The only times I've travelled internationally outside the US have been to Canada (work trip) and Mexico (vacation with old college buddies). I grew up poor. Vacation and travel were not something we could afford growing up. They weren't really a priority. I honestly cannot remember going on a vacation with my family (even within the US). In my mid-twenties my circumstances changed. I secured a well-paying job and became financially well secure. However I never acquired a passion for travelling. Although now I have all the money and time in the world to travel wherever I like, I'm really not passionate about it.
These days I'm recently single (after a 9 year relationship ended). I created my profile on a bunch of online dating sites (match, OKC etc). I find that girls talk a LOT about their wanderlust and travelling experiences. A part of me feels like I've completely missed out on all these experiences. It almost seems that for many girls in my socio-economic bracket, the fact that I'm not well-travelled is a deal breaker for them. It's almost like they evaluate a person's worth based on the number of passport stamps they have :-) This brings me back to my question. Well-travelled ladies of reddit, what is your opinion of a guy who is not well-travelled in spite of having the means to do so? Who is the most well traveled person you know? Also who is the least traveled person you know? Did travelling have any impact on you as a person? People always talk about how it’s important to travel and experience new places. For those of you that have travelled did it change you in any way? Did you learn anything from it? Travelling and being well travelled are overrated
What’s so bad about wanting to stay in one place? It doesn’t make you small minded or boring. Travelling is stressful, expensive, tiring. It can be fun to see a new place but it always feels rushed to me. I hate being in a beautiful city I’ve never seen before knowing I’ve got seven days to experience it, you need a year to get to know a city properly. And I know there’s various ways of travelling that give you more time but that involves having months of free time which most people don’t. It never appealed to me even when I was younger, I like my quiet, mild corner of the world and I don’t think I should feel bad for not being exhilarated by the idea of ‘seeing the world’. Here’s what usually happens: I’ll match with the guy on hinge/bumble and we talk for a few days, follow each other on instagram, they’re nice and witty and are super excited to take me out. Then they plan something super nice like a fancy restaurant or a cocktail bar/speakeasy I’ve never even heard of and we meet. Everything is lovely and conversion flows, none of us feel like we’re pulling teeth trying to make it happen.
But doesn’t even have to take long and they start talking about their adventures and what not, which I don’t mind but the whole night becomes about them. It doesn’t even have to be a crazy travel story, sometimes it’s something crazy that happened in the city or something. But usually they want to talk about that one time they bought a ticket to India without knowing anything about the country or how they have visited like 30 countries already and during dinner they literally tell me the whole itinerary of the next trip without me ever asking lol I’ve only been to one other country besides the US and it’s only because I was born there. I grew up dirt poor and every time I have money to travel I just go back to my home country because my family could never afford to visit me in the US so it’s really hard for me to be like “oh yea the beer in Germany is really something else”
I do tell them what I’m looking for and for 5 minutes that’s the only part of the night where it isn’t completely about them and they give me the whole “I’m the type of guy that goes with the flow” which I already knew they were going to say. The crazy part is that they’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars to take a stranger out just to tell them their life story. My guess is they do this every week with a different girl. Their friends either were part of the story or are sick of hearing about how they got lost in Indonesia or whatever so they need to tell it to someone new to feed their ego. I just wonder what their end game is. They’re not interested in even having sex, they will react to all my instagram stories or be like “let’s do something soon”, sometimes I even meet their friends but they seem so nonchalant about it and it makes me believe they bring girls around all the time.
I guess if you just want to be friends just say it, that way I don’t have to keep my hopes up and you don’t have to spend all this money to give me the impression that you’re courting me when all you want is a pretty girl to be your therapist for the night. What's the deal with a woman stating that she is well-traveled/has travel as an interest being a red flag?
Discussion
I've seen this a lot lately on various lists of warning signs or bad attributes- a woman being well traveled or expressing an interest to travel. If an explanation is given, it's usually a fear of her "riding the cock carousel" or something in that vein. However... I don't find that to be completely convincing. While it's plausible that a woman who exhibits promiscuous behavior at home could possibly exhibit similar behavior overseas... traveling itself doesn't require that only sexually open people will travel. Plenty of women interested by the history, culture, or sights in a particular go abroad for those virtues alone, not sex. In my opinion, going overseas and spending your trip trawling for sex is an incredible WASTE of valuable time (and money spent) to explore a new setting as much as possible before you have to leave, so while it might be attractive to some people, most people serious about traveling would try to optimize their time.
I myself have been pretty fortunate when it comes to traveling- I've visited 12 countries and lived for an extended time in both China and Jordan for language acquisition and research purposes, both very formative experiences for me (with nary a penis in sight). Hell, now that I think of it, despite all my time spent overseas, I've only ever had sex in my native country. None of my traveling companions have, either. This leads me to believe that quite possibly, there's more at play: either the notion of foreign men repels some RPers (less plausible), or there is an underlying fear that a woman capable of traveling overseas herself/in small groups will be too independent for a TRP relationship or have broad horizons not easily contained, regardless of if she has done a sexual act abroad or not (more plausible). Any thoughts, friends? As an aside: what about domestic travel? Does the red flag extend to a woman who enjoys road tripping within the country or state? I am 28 and have never really traveled. Now I am concentrating on establishing my career. Is it feasible to travel later in life, even with a partner, or is it a 20 year old thing?
I know that's kind of vague. I need someone to explain this to me like I'm five. I want to concentrate on my career for a few years. What if I'm married at some point and I want to travel with my SO? How do you coordinate schedules? Do people save up and travel for long periods of time, like a few months or even a year? How do you do that? Is that a thing that people do? I feel insecure over the fact that I haven't travelled in 3 years
TLDR: is it possible to be the best version of myself without travelling? I travelled quite a lot in 2018. Studied abroad in Europe, solo travelled, etc. I was confident, happy, and felt the most creative and the most 'me' I've ever felt, and I think people picked up on that energy and I attracted lots of like minded friends and cool people. And since coming back I haven't been the same. I'm past my post travel depression now, but I still feel like I've missed out on so much 'growth' that I could've had if I had gone travelling the last few years. Technically I could travel now if I wanted to, but I'm choosing not to because I just started my first career job and I'm saving money to pay off my debt. Basically my question is - am I really "missing out" on personal growth. Is it possible to grow and be that best version of myself that I was when I was travelling, in my hometown? I just don't know if it's possible because obviously staying at home is not the same as stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting new people in a foreign country. When you meet people who have travelled, they give off a vibe, an energy, that people who have never travelled just don't have. And I don't know if I have that anymore or if I've lost it. I've been to just about 6 (7 if you want to count my planned/failed layer day in Spain) countries so far. I remember the first time I came back from my first solo travel to South Korea. Everyone was asking me how it was? was I scared to go alone? blah blah, the usual. But one day after my trip back from Romania (4th trip). Someone asked me about my trip and he seemed genuinely uninterest like you can tell in their tone of voice and their facial expressions, so after like 2mins I just changed the subject. I don't know why this affects me so much? Why did they even bother to ask? Was this just to start a conversation? I've known this person for years, So I thought it was kind of odd. I find myself talking about traveling with no one these days. So now when people ask, I usually just hit them with a "It was good, i enjoyed it, can't wait for the next one" and move on. I like sharing my experiences because I hope maybe one day I can inspire someone to pull the trigger and travel to a country they like. I understand that money is a big factor in this and I don't have a big budget either, in fact, I'm a pretty decent budget traveler. Maybe it's just because I prioritize traveling over everything else (cooking at home, not really going out, I buy clothes once every 2 years, even then I just get them from target). It doesn't have to be solo but just travel in general. What's the best piece of travel advice you've ever given/received? I have hobbies and see friends and family and basically have everything I ever wanted, but I’m depressed. I feel lonely and isolated (I work full time remote) and tired all the time. I think about the time in my life I was happiest and that was when I was solo traveling in my 20s. I was so happy. I traveled all over the world, found community in other travelers, and got to see and experience so many amazing things. I came out of my shell and felt confident in myself. Now I’m living the “adult” life, and it’s the path I feel I should be on, but why am I so unhappy? I can and do travel occasionally, but with the dogs and job and obligations here, I can’t travel much. If I have kids, it will be even harder.
When I think of giving this all up to travel, I feel like it would be amazing… at first. I did go on a 10 day solo trip to Ecuador last year and it was so incredibly amazing. I came back rejuvenated. But I mean, after some months… then what? I can imagine I will “discover myself” and find my calling but I won’t. I will get burnt out from travel and be alone and then what? And what about my boyfriend? My dogs? I dunno I just feel so depressed in my current life and not sure why. I’m always comparing it to solo travel and idealizing that. Anyone feel the same? Have any insight?
