I’m so tired

Elton would say !,,,,,! .

Then move. Go somewhere else or find an accepting group around you.

Theres 8 bilion people in the world. Not just the 300 or so youve met around your city wich you may have defined as "your whole world".

Alot of people do that and feel iscolated and alone while surrounded by a crowd.

Doesnt need to be that way.

Actually you can’t really hide the fact you’re gay. Someone and often even a few people always know.

why hide it? nobody else does

Then don't.

I always assumed you were