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Trans - what IS that, really?

Why is it that if someone says they are 'trans' and claims I should respect that, they don't tell me what they actually mean? Is a trans woman a woman 'transed' to seem like a man or is it a man who seems like a woman? Are they men/women with anomalous or surgically altered genitals; are they psychologically deranged guys/gals who simply think they aren't, or are they just people playing silly buggers? If they can't be explicit about their condition why don't they STFU about it?

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NerdyPotato ·

Oh boy... A trans woman is a woman who was assigned male at birth, a trans man is a man who was assigned female at birth. Transitioning can involve any or all from range of changes from just different pronouns and name, to different clothes and a haircut, to hormone treatment, to surgery. What they did and didn't do is none of your business unless they show interest in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with you, which seems very unlikely with an attitude like that.

ffony · M

@NerdyPotato You can't logically claim that if someone tells me they are 'trans,' it's 'none of my business' what they mean.

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony if they tell you they're a trans man, it means they were assigned female at birth and now a man. That's all they're telling you and all you need to know. What medical procedures they had or what their genitals look like is as little of your business as when someone tells you they are a cis man and you wouldn't ask him the other questions. It's not complicated.

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ffony · M

@NerdyPotatoTo repeat - if what they mean by 'being trans' is to be treated as 'none of my business' they shouldn't (putting it politely) mention it.

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony they are complicated to the person involved, not to outsiders once someone has figured out their situation and tells you their conclusion. And I didn't say it's none of your business that someone is trans if they tell you. I said additional details they don't tell you are none of your business. Would you ask a cis man what their genitals look like or what medical procedures they had? If not, don't ask trans people that either. And if you do, learn about boundaries.

ffony · M

@NerdyPotato 🙄

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony what's wrong?

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ffony · M

@HootyTheNightOwl How can an owl and a potato be birds of a feather ???

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony true, true. Let's tackle one issue at a time though. Anymore unanswered question about trans people?

ffony · M

@NerdyPotato People calling themselves trans are, I assume, individuals. The truth about any one of them is likely to be different from the truth about any other - and may also be entirely different from whatever they tell us.

The near infinite number of questions I could have seems unlikely to be answered with consistent intelligibility. One issue at a time? Let's start with why do you think you can speak for any one of these people?

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony that's an excellent statement. They all have something in common though and that's the only part that matters to accept all of them for who they are. And I feel like I can speak on that because I'm close friends with several of them.

ffony · M

@NerdyPotato They need you to speak for them?

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony need is a big word, but they can't handle all bigotry themselves because there's too much of it.

LeopoldBloom · M

@ffony So ask them.

ffony · M

@LeopoldBloomSorry for having to repeat myself:

People calling themselves trans are, I assume, individuals. The truth about any one of them is likely to be different from the truth about any other - and may also be entirely different from whatever they tell us.

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony that's true, just like every cis person is different. Each of them may still be able to tell you something about their gender that applies to most people sharing that though.

ffony · M

@NerdyPotato Every PERSON is different. Calling anybody 'cis' is just another example of all the immature media bafflegeb surrounding gender and sexuality.

NerdyPotato ·

@ffony if you're against any kind of label, why didn't you hide the M next to your name?

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specman · 51-55, M

@NerdyPotato since a man cannot become a real woman and a woman can not become a real man does it mean they will be transitioning forever. So they will be a trans for life? I am not trying to offend.

NerdyPotato ·

@specman "real woman" and "real man" are rather subjective terms, but they will be trans(itioned) for life indeed. (Unless they decide it's not for them and go back to their original gender of course. If they only socially transitioned, that's pretty easy.)