Caring
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My grandpa was a marine & an underground boxer

A total badass. Yet he died homeless, drunk, on a sidewalk in the streets.

So when I see someone on the streets, I ask myself who they used to be instead of judging who they are now. I was on the streets myself before. Some of you already know that about me but I had no home at the time SW first opened. I lived in an abandoned building.. no water, no electricity. I did what I could & I managed.
I lived around fire. Fire heated my water to bathe.. fire cooked my food, fire gave me warmth when I was cold & light when it was dark. I learned to start a fire with nothing but sticks in less than a few minutes.. no stimulants. I learned to survive.

I was a bum at 18 years old. Dropped outta school, was doing drugs & selling them. I really thought that was all there was for me. & Even being here on SW I never admitted what I was going through because I didn't wanna be looked down on.

It's true, many DO have the power to change their situation. But that seems unimaginable when you have nothing & there's nowhere to start. A homeless person can go get a job.. but not many places will hire them.

Then when they do, they'll work that job all day just to get off & have nowhere to go home to. I've met a guy once who did exactly that. He was homeless but he was working hard to get out of that. He told me how every day he got off work, walked down the street, & slept wherever looked okay. He had no bank account because he was waiting to be able to open one. He was just waiting for his paychecks to add up so he could afford a motel for a while.
Talking to him even made me feel guilty that I had somewhere to go home to after work..
Because after work all you wanna do is go home right?

Well imagine getting off work & having no home to go to.

It made me sad to think about but proud of how determined he was.
I didn't have to start alone because I turned to my mom who opened her arms for me.. despite her not being the one to raise me.
Despite the fact that I was angry at her & hadn't spoke to her for years, she let me in.
She's the reason I got my start. But other people who had to be on the street don't have that option. Most only have themselves & nothing else to work for, nothing to live for. & Sometimes "yourself" isn't enough to wanna live for.
All I wanna say is BE GLAD if you don't understand that feeling.

Btw, thank you to @DearAmbellina2113 for your posts today that made me think on all of this & wanna share 🙏
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@DarkHeaven stuff like this makes me emotional because I've known so many homeless people.. especially through my days in that life. I was around them every day, I lived with them. I even saved one persons life while they were dying & everybody else turned their back because that person didn't matter anyway.
I wrote about that experience on my old SW account back then. I was upset how everybody literally saw it happen... & They walked away.

Plus my grandpa more than anything. I never had a grandpa but I always hear what a badass he was. He was highly respected... He only died alone because he wanted to be alone. My mom was broken when he passed because she's spent years looking for him.
@ChiefWalksWith40oz I’m sorry. I volunteer weekly at the homeless shelter and soup kitchen in my area. I haven’t this week because I almost got a 72 hour hold under a 5150 at the hospital… but most weeks I do. I’m just in kind of bad shape right now. That’s my happy place, though. Giving. It’s the only time I don’t feel like straight trash.
@DarkHeaven I get that. You gotta focus on yourself sometimes though because it's hard to be there for anyone else if you're not there for yourself. So the break is necessary 🙏
But I'm glad you choose to give. As long as you still give to yourself too. One thing I'm learning lately is we deserve the same care we give to others. Even though we don't think we do
@ChiefWalksWith40oz I like them better than I like me, though.