Ive been homeless since the last week of December.
Honestly, I've proven to myself I can hit rock bottom pretty hard and still get back up. My mother, being in a different city, is more amazed by my resilience than anything. Still, she worries but it's pretty something when she even admits to tell me I'm tough as hell and that the living conditions are, to her, like bootcamp. Lol no, those military persons go through a worse hell than that I think. But it's been a month now...
Already, I've hit physical and mental tiredness in a series of waves...and I know that generally for everyone when you reach the 30 day mark in a survival situation you hit a wall. It's where your thoughts turn against you or you try to think of an easy way out, or you start to crave the things you miss before...and usually your body will react in aches and unshakeable fatigue.
For me, I'm craving comfort foods since I've been eating differently/or barely at all some days for so long. Steaming hot honey wheat rolls buttered up, that lava cake sundae at that ice cream shop, a nice steak dinner, or chicken and especially a large sweet tea...but strangely enough not so much fast food anymore except for a particular chicken joint that's phenomenal. Then I really miss my wife. The last time I was with her we snuggled up in a hotel bed. Her head resting on my shoulder and her little hand against my heart. When she slept she gripped my shirt and started to jerk herself awake from a nightmare, where I would just pull her closer and tell her she's OK. I miss that.
I miss a real bed and a shower of course, now I'm paying the price with a bad hip. Honestly, this may seem like a series of complaints to you but it's not. I don't regret my decision of moving to a different city to get back on my feet. Soon I'll have a place to stay with my wife, and when that happens it will all be worth it. I will say though, once I get paid I'm gonna go satiate my cravings at least ha!
Already, I've hit physical and mental tiredness in a series of waves...and I know that generally for everyone when you reach the 30 day mark in a survival situation you hit a wall. It's where your thoughts turn against you or you try to think of an easy way out, or you start to crave the things you miss before...and usually your body will react in aches and unshakeable fatigue.
For me, I'm craving comfort foods since I've been eating differently/or barely at all some days for so long. Steaming hot honey wheat rolls buttered up, that lava cake sundae at that ice cream shop, a nice steak dinner, or chicken and especially a large sweet tea...but strangely enough not so much fast food anymore except for a particular chicken joint that's phenomenal. Then I really miss my wife. The last time I was with her we snuggled up in a hotel bed. Her head resting on my shoulder and her little hand against my heart. When she slept she gripped my shirt and started to jerk herself awake from a nightmare, where I would just pull her closer and tell her she's OK. I miss that.
I miss a real bed and a shower of course, now I'm paying the price with a bad hip. Honestly, this may seem like a series of complaints to you but it's not. I don't regret my decision of moving to a different city to get back on my feet. Soon I'll have a place to stay with my wife, and when that happens it will all be worth it. I will say though, once I get paid I'm gonna go satiate my cravings at least ha!
