I don’t think their is anyone out there for me

My romantic life is dead and i’m the one who killed it.

I have been engaged once before and the breakup cost me everything. My home, my spouse, my friends.

It took me a year to get over my ex fiancé.

Today I went on a date with an intelligent, witty guy. It started off well until he got buzzed off beer and talked about his ex fiancé for four hours. He clearly isn’t over his ex.

I’m tired of the constant disappointment. The constant cycle of expecting someone to be something they aren’t. This fairytale type of romance doesn’t exist. You find someone, you fool yourself into thinking things will be different then they all fall apart and you end worse then where you started. At least I have, every single time.

I always seem to be better off alone then having someone needlessly dragging me down. I have dreams to accomplish and none of them involve a spouse.

The game of romance can’t hurt me if I refuse to play.

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kimmy159 · F

Sometimes one random disappointment can weigh on you so much because of the ongoing disappointment pattern.
Can't say I relate to the date disappointments, but I can however relate to relationship disappointment in general. I've been together with my husband for quite a long time, can't say it ever gets easier. Even when you're in a good relationship, you often disappoint eachother and nothing ever really changes merely because you want it to. I've been accepting things the way they are a lot over the past few years, could say I'm done trying too.
About a year ago, we agreed to plan a date night once month to make some time for eachother and our relationship. The concept was quite good: once a month I organize it, and the other month he does. He organized it once, then work got in between a few times (from him) and then suddenly it died out again.
I'm pretty sure if I'll have a conversation about it again that he'll just say "but you're not organizing one either... just organize one if you want one..."
I'd be happy with 25% of that fairytale romance being real, but even that is hard to find.