sometimes my roommate says and does things that makes me remember he really is just a man
i was watching a video about someone who's recently come out as being superrrr abusive towards their partners, and i said something about how weird it is that my ex would say very similiar things as this person does, bc that relationship definitely suckedd but i couldn't call him abusive.
the context here is this influencer says that if she yells at someone for hourssss then there is a reason they are angry and yelling. and if their partner starts crying then they are being manipulative, and crying is in fact more manipulative than yelling
which when i was dating this ex.. after a few weeks he wanted to buy me a phone and pay for my phone bill. but when i said i wasn't ready for that he talked at/yelled at me for hoursss, which made me cry, and he told me it was a pretty terrible thing for me to cry and make him feel bad
then my roommate says well crying is manipulative. (or idk maybe said can be manipulative)
like obviously a manipulator can use different behaviors to scare or guilt their "victims" in different contexts, by yelling or crying or what have you
but like... lets use our critical thinking skills here, bc obviously yelling at someone for hours (especially in the irate/primal way this influencer does) is most likely going to make their partners scared and cry, and just because they cry, does not mean they're being manipulative 💀
and just because i cried when my ex yelled at me in circles for literal hours at a time doest mean i was being manipulative because i just cant take it anymore and start crying
idk why he has to look at everything so black and white. it's so annoying trying to explain these things
after that i just kind of shut down because i've given up on explaining these things to him, becayse it's just so frustrating trying to explain nuance or basic empathy to people. he sort of backtracked and offered to make dinner tonight, idk if it was related to that conversation or not
but it reminds me of when i told him about when my first bf hit me, and he asked how, and i told him. and he said oh, that's it?? like yeah, it fucking hurt and it was embarrassing, and i never told anyone before so thanks for that 💀 and when i got upset he backtracked and was like well obviously it wasn't okay, blah blah blah
i have more and significantly worse examples in moments i realize he really is just a man. but i'm trying to keep this post somewhat lighthearted 😬 i just needed to rant a little
it was silly of me to let myself forget that just because we've had a good few couple of weeks
but despite it all i'm still grateful to live here. i am not the best version of myself anymore. i miss who i was five years ago. i need to be better... like i seriously need to be better...
and maybe when i am i can find a better living situation
the context here is this influencer says that if she yells at someone for hourssss then there is a reason they are angry and yelling. and if their partner starts crying then they are being manipulative, and crying is in fact more manipulative than yelling
which when i was dating this ex.. after a few weeks he wanted to buy me a phone and pay for my phone bill. but when i said i wasn't ready for that he talked at/yelled at me for hoursss, which made me cry, and he told me it was a pretty terrible thing for me to cry and make him feel bad
then my roommate says well crying is manipulative. (or idk maybe said can be manipulative)
like obviously a manipulator can use different behaviors to scare or guilt their "victims" in different contexts, by yelling or crying or what have you
but like... lets use our critical thinking skills here, bc obviously yelling at someone for hours (especially in the irate/primal way this influencer does) is most likely going to make their partners scared and cry, and just because they cry, does not mean they're being manipulative 💀
and just because i cried when my ex yelled at me in circles for literal hours at a time doest mean i was being manipulative because i just cant take it anymore and start crying
idk why he has to look at everything so black and white. it's so annoying trying to explain these things
after that i just kind of shut down because i've given up on explaining these things to him, becayse it's just so frustrating trying to explain nuance or basic empathy to people. he sort of backtracked and offered to make dinner tonight, idk if it was related to that conversation or not
but it reminds me of when i told him about when my first bf hit me, and he asked how, and i told him. and he said oh, that's it?? like yeah, it fucking hurt and it was embarrassing, and i never told anyone before so thanks for that 💀 and when i got upset he backtracked and was like well obviously it wasn't okay, blah blah blah
i have more and significantly worse examples in moments i realize he really is just a man. but i'm trying to keep this post somewhat lighthearted 😬 i just needed to rant a little
it was silly of me to let myself forget that just because we've had a good few couple of weeks
but despite it all i'm still grateful to live here. i am not the best version of myself anymore. i miss who i was five years ago. i need to be better... like i seriously need to be better...
and maybe when i am i can find a better living situation
