I Wish Things Were Simpler

Life.. People.. Relations.. World.. me..
i thought i had figured it all out back then..
i thought i knew how to deal with it..
but once again..
i can't..
i don't know..
i don't want to..
i don't want to deal with people at all..

i miss my innocence..
i miss my own world
how i would be lost in it
not caring for what's happening around
how i would touch and feel everything,
caressing the pillow cover
the window pane,
the petals on a flower,
watching the fan swirl and being amazed..
watching the leaves dance in the breeze
and the shadow the trees make..
everything was a wonder..
and now i haven't paused..
i make excuses to avoid those people - relatives and colleagues.

where do i find my innocence?
where do i find my own world again?
is there a door?
is there a key?