I Need to Vent

I graduated college almost 5 months ago and yet I'm still at my current job. This job searching life is much more difficult than I expected. I hate how overwhelmed I am at my current job, which hinders my ability to apply for jobs *no free time*. Besides that, my boyfriend and I are in two different volumes in our life. He's successful, rich, happy while I am running with my head cut off.

I feel guilty wanting to confide in him with my problems. Like I told him today I feel as if I must upkeep this image of who he thinks I am while maintaining this idea of who I think I am. I'm disappointed with myself because I KNOW that I am capable of more. I'm upset because I have no idea where my life is heading. I'm confused because I'm not sure what my boyfriend wants from me. I'm lonely because I no longer make time for myself, friends, or even my wonderful girlfriend. I'm scared because I don't have a plan anymore.