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Mildly AdultUpset
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Life is strange

Why do I crave for what ruined my life to happen again? Why do I want to get groomed again? I haven’t talked to an older guy, so I’m not seeking it out (yet, I’m trying so hard not too…) but I want it to happen again. Isn’t that disgusting?
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DaddyP · 61-69, M
You might find this post beneficial in helping you understand your feelings.

https://similarworlds.com/relationships/age-gap/4543613-Why-our-early-experiences-determine-what-we-need
Not disgusting but sounds like an issue that requires professional help to process and heal.
GoFish · 41-45, F
cause love is a drug and people get addicted 😒 not everyone feels the way you do tho other people are truly victims of such predators maybe you are too and just don't realize it yet

 
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