Me, The Doomed Artist

i was foolish. i want to break my hands.
i loved someone so dearly. but as an artist I didn't do my duty. i shouldve painted her everywhere anywhere anytime my hands werent busy. I did but they were not realistic. When a person loves someone, it changes the way they see the other one completely. Same happened to me too. I drew her so beautiful, so wonderful, so majestic. Her imperfections were my profession. Id draw her so beautiful. One day she had disappeared. i Havent seen her for months. Now im noticing that none of my sketches of her look like her anymore. If i wasnt blinded by love this much, i wouldn't be suffering right now. I cant remember her face. Her dark circles, her chubby cheeks, the tiredness of her eyes. Her long straight hair that she dyed the ends of, her cracked thin lips, her hidden arms. I can never portray her like her now, and thats what i desire the most. Im losing her sight. I cant imagine the one i love the most, i cant draw her. The one i yearn. I want to break my hands. What even is an artist that cant draw their belowed one?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Funny I can remember my first crush perfectly.

And the girl I asked to marry even better...

No I don't claim to be an artist either.

Yet both were drawn decades afterwards.

I can even remember the second's favorite phrase... "I don't know". 🫤 And her excuse for not marrying. "You're too innocent". Her quirky actions and there were plenty of them.

The second speaker isn't just saying "I remember better than you." They're demonstrating a method of remembering: through specific, granular details rather than visual perfection.

They remember her by:

° Her favorite phrase: "I don't know"
° Her reason for refusing marriage: "You're too innocent"
° The character embedded in her words and choices

These details are anchor points—they preserve the person's essence, personality, and presence far more reliably than trying to capture a perfect likeness of her face.

The Rebuttal Made Clear

The first speaker agonizes over not being able to paint her dark circles, chubby cheeks, tired eyes—physical features. But the second speaker shows that this approach is backwards. You don't preserve someone through visual accuracy; you preserve them through the specifics of who they were—their mannerisms, their words, the things they said and refused to say.

The second speaker is saying: Stop trying to draw her face perfectly. Remember her by the way she spoke, the way she thought, the decisions she made. That's what lasts.

It's a rebuttal to the artist's despair—the beloved isn't lost just because you can't remember her face. She lives in the remembered details of her character, her voice, her presence. The second speaker drew the women years later not because they're an artist, but because they held onto the details that actually mattered.

That's a profound response to heartbreak.

Boeing · 36-40

thank you for this post, it reignited something within me... I am an artist as well but I never paint anything realistically, but what I paint feels a lot like an essence - I have rarely painted or drawn any of my beloveds. But their presence in my life is always a catalyst of what I am making.

Caglis

@Boeing I see, im glad you got something from my post :)

GoFish · 41-45, F

shoulda took a photo

Caglis

@GoFish she doesnt like taking photos. i tried a few times but she would always cover her face

GoFish · 41-45, F

@Caglis oh

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