The way he turned my need for touch into a problem...

He said my needs were too great when I was crying and he put his hands in his pockets.

He said I kept moving the goalpost when I asked for safety from his mood swings.

He said he wouldn't waste his time on shit people, when he ditched me for people who excluded me and treated him poorly.

He said it was okay to flirt with other women while he ignored my effort to flirt and turn him on every day.

He would touch me in ways that hurt, because it was how it made him feel good to touch me.

He would have tantrums, yell and throw things, when he hurt me.

In the end, he couldn't say, we don't work, it had to be my fault.

And now I'm the evil bitch. I'm alone, healing, and he's already on tinder.

Thing is, I have too much other pain to care about the pain he caused. Maybe it's lucky I'm falling apart so I don't feel his absence. Maybe he is the reason I had developed so much pain.

I did love him, because I am a good lover.

But what he loved was using me to not be alone.

Yes I'm a perfect target. But I will not apologize for being a diamond in the rough just because "better" men only want polished women.

I'm worth it as I am.