I hate myself

Not sure if this is linked to a disorder but, I always am in the hospital for sum bs but my parents are against getting a diagnosis? I absolutely hate the sound of anything liked to oral stuff. Everytime I hear spitting, garling, scratching, etc. Hearing these will cause me to get violet and I have no idea what to do. I hate my parents and I hate getting jealous of people easily. I wish someone would notice ☹..