I hate this.

A few months ago, I went to one of those places with swimming pools where people go specifically to use the pools. Well, it was a campground, and I only went because my family was going. Anyway, I hate the sea, the beach, and swimming pools because I can't swim and I'm scared. I was walking toward the table where my family was sitting eating and stuffing when my cousin pushed me into the pool. Like I said, I can't swim, and I started trying to get out, but it was deep. My cousin was laughing with another cousin until one of them grabbed me. I held onto the edge of the pool and got out. I saw out of the corner of my eye that the lifeguard was worried. I didn't go near the pool the rest of the day because I was embarrassed, and I didn't feel the need to. People were looking at me and occasionally pointing because everyone had noticed. From that moment on I occasionally think about it and feel nauseous, almost to the point of almost vomiting. I am much more afraid of water than before... I don't know what to do, it makes me very sad and maybe I think "I just need to learn to swim" but I don't want to know anything about water. I have always wanted to die but at that moment I was so afraid.