He's trying to bait me with his scraps
I want to be proud of myself for not taking it but truth is he repulses me.
Thinking back on how I would ask him to treat me when I was sad because he was so selfish and emotionally immature he didn't ever think to do anything nice for me, he'd just get mad at me and make it about himself. He'd yell at me 😂 I always thought I was somehow missing something wrong that I did to confide in him that I was hurting and he'd get mad at me.
If I ever had to hear him say, "that's not fair" again I'd probably barf all over him. Wtf was I doing listening to that?
That was probably the worst of it. Needing someone to talk to so bad, being afraid and lonely, and it would turn into these CRAZY arguments. I get chest pain just thinking about it. Sometimes I really thought he might be psycho. And in the end I'd be begging him to just be gentle because I couldn't breathe. Please just soften your tone because I'm scared. Finally he'd conclude that he had this and that going on and he'd start crying. He'd apologize over and over and promise to change every single time it happened. The grand finale was me comforting him.
I was depleted over and over. Hanging on a promise that was never coming.
He's a sick sad mfer.
Thinking back on how I would ask him to treat me when I was sad because he was so selfish and emotionally immature he didn't ever think to do anything nice for me, he'd just get mad at me and make it about himself. He'd yell at me 😂 I always thought I was somehow missing something wrong that I did to confide in him that I was hurting and he'd get mad at me.
If I ever had to hear him say, "that's not fair" again I'd probably barf all over him. Wtf was I doing listening to that?
That was probably the worst of it. Needing someone to talk to so bad, being afraid and lonely, and it would turn into these CRAZY arguments. I get chest pain just thinking about it. Sometimes I really thought he might be psycho. And in the end I'd be begging him to just be gentle because I couldn't breathe. Please just soften your tone because I'm scared. Finally he'd conclude that he had this and that going on and he'd start crying. He'd apologize over and over and promise to change every single time it happened. The grand finale was me comforting him.
I was depleted over and over. Hanging on a promise that was never coming.
He's a sick sad mfer.
41-45, F
