please give opinion of what should I do

half of my friends are struggling in mental health and I do too, i try my best to care for them and comfort them, leading me to comforting atleast 5 people per day (even strangers). Im a bit tired of it but its preventing people from suicide, yet making my thoughts go on stronger. I want to reach out to my friends but theyre also struggling in the process and I dont want to make their problems even harder. So, I bottled up my feelings and let strangers and friends whos struggling vent to me. I also keep up with my cheerful personality, and being dry is SO NOT me at all and they will question me a lot. My suicidal thoughts getting stronger each day, but im trying my hard to comfort people and be there for them. What should I do to make my thoughts get less?

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greencompass · 36-40, F

It seems like you've taken on a lot by yourself. Would you consider venting/sharing a bit of your feelings with any one of your friends? You don't have to share everything all at once. Maybe test the waters by sharing just a little bit. I know you don't want to exacerbate their problems, but when among good friends a problem shared can often be a problem halved. It might even help your friends to know that they're not alone.

Allow yourself to receive the same kindness you give to your friends. If your friends are really not an option, would you consider speaking with someone else? Anyone else you can trust. I know what bottling up those feelings is like. Finding someone to speak with could really help in your situation. There should be help lines too that you can call anonymously.

Depending on what's been bothering you more (thoughts or feelings or both), there are techniques that you can do on your own in the meantime.