Sad-cation

Lately things haven't been the best for me, both financially and mentally. June has to be the weirdest month for me. My brother was born in June and passed away in June. My mom and dad were both born in June however my mom passed away in June while my dad passed away in September. my mom and dads wedding anniversary was in June, and my god mom and mom (my dad passed away first so my mom married her 2nd lover) has a wedding anniversary in June as well. My daughters birthday is also in June. The years previously i never had a problem with finances however this month has been hell on wheels. everyday for a month (i thankfully get paid weekly, my husband gets paid bi-weekly) i have woken up to my account being negative. Like every. single. day. My god mom asked me for money because she needed to pay someone else back and i was like okay that's fine.. first it was $500, then it was a thousand and then another $500 and I'm watching my savings slowly drain to help her. Next thing i know my account is negative for car insurance and weird miscellaneous items and even though i disputed them the bank wont do anything about it. Now i know what you're thinking.. What does this have to do with your title?? I needed to get away from everything. I needed a break from my retail job, from my husband and 2 yr old daughter. I needed a break from my god mom as well. I saved for this vacation to go to bars, to clubs, get tattoos, even piercings. dye my hair, be silly with my best friend who've I've known for about 15 yrs. I had planned to come out with about $2500. I have $30 to last me for the next 5 days. FIVE DAYS. I just got paid on Thursday and would've lasted till i leave (Via plane, round trip) however my god mom calls me crying saying her account in negative almost $400 and needs money. I log in to her bank and low behold she's negative. I live with my god mom, she pays rent and i pay all utilities including HER car insurance and HER phone bill. I cover food cost and more and all she pays is rent, nothing less nothing more. Hell, I even put another $1000 in her account so she can do whatever she wants with it like coffee dates, see's candy, gambling with her so called friend. She doesn't get her social security check until the 1st of every month. when she gets her check shed still be short over 200 if i didn't put the money in to her account... I had to give her my entire paycheck after my loans took out. She then asks my husband for another 900 to give to her friend to finish paying her off. I'm just so annoyed and I'm not having any fun being out here, i tried to apply for another loan and was told no because i already have 2 out as it is. I'm just frustrated and genuinely madden by all of this b.s.

I feel like taking this trip was my moms way of saying "you do nt get to have fun while I'm dead" and i couldn't be more depressed, furious and more so. I'm not asking for money or sympathy. I'm just venting because i feel like I have no one else to talk to. My husband gets mad at me for being all Mr. Krabs, i don't want to upset my bsf because she's dealing with her own shite and i don't want to be more of a burden to her. I have no one else and i just needed to get this off my chest to maybe feel a little better about what I'm going through? I don't know. :/