I am so done with life

So, im a 13 year old transmasc person who hadn't came out of the closet yet. I dont know if ill pass my grade anymore because i cant learn. I have a learning disability. Im too scared to show real emotions, everyone bullies me. Ive started cuttin again. Ive been cutting ever since i was 7, school started my depression. I have already tried suicide but im sucj a sore loser i cant even do it properly. My only eber online friend just left me and i will cry. Cutting as im writing this, and told my mom a few days ago about my cutting. She got worried and now i feel guilty. I feel guilty for everything ive been doing in life. Even from small things. Im too scared to tell my school psychologist because im best friends with him and i dont wanna ruin the mood. I havent been eating properly in weeks, i weigh only 45 kg. I wanna come out of the closet to my mom but im scared she wont accept me. Shes chill but i dont think she accepts my community. Sorry for my english, im polish and horrimble at spelling. No one cares to help me anymore. My dad drinks and my mom sometimes does too, my little brother beats me up for every little thing i do and my older brother mocks me and uses me like im his maid. I suffer from depression, paranoia and aspergers as well as hypertension. I dont have anyone to tak to anymore..this is all writen with pure emotion