Don’t know how to express how I feel.

I know that almost everyone I know can easily express if they feel bad or negatively about something, but I can’t. Big example, I don’t want to learn how to swim. I know the very basics, but I can’t swim in places that I can’t stand in. I’m scared if I try to tell ‘y parents “I don’t want to to learn how to swim”, they’re going to use the same argument saying “it’s a life skill and you need to learn it.” The thing is I don’t want to learn it. Then they respond with “well what will happen if one day you go out with your friends near a pool?”. One, I can’t even say hello to someone without passing out, two, I hate pools. They’ve enrolled me in swim classes for months now, and have finally stopped because it’s winter and it’s getting cold. But my parents say that when it’s the summer they will send me back to the classes. I don’t want to go. I have this hatred for swimming that I never thought I would have for anything. The smell of pools makes me cry. Everyone I’ve told keeps telling me “get over it”, “it’s not that serious”. No, every time before attending a swim class I’ll cry in the bathroom. That’s never happened before. It’s gotten to the point where whenever I see or hear the word “pool” or “swim” I feel like crying or throwing up. Also, I have a brother that is enrolled in the same swim classes as me. My mom got mad at me because he was progressing faster than me. She said since I was older I needed to be better. I felt like crying and tearing her hair out at the same time. I don’t want to go back. And the year going by so fast makes me even more anxious about the summer. My parents won’t forget. They have it written everywhere.