i’m late ik.

sorry, i know it’s been a month since i’ve last posted, and boy have things been a roller coaster. well, same guy. but happily we’re broken up now. at first i was sad abt this but man. i can’t handle it anymore, i want someone that’s gonna love me how he did or even better at that, someone that’ll care, won’t put anyone above me. he leaves me for chicks that do him so wrong. i’ve saved him countless times from so many woman that have treated him like shit js for him to leave me for another that treats him like shit. atp. i’m gonna let him get hurt and try to find someone else, thank you to the people from a god damn month ago that told me this would get tiring. bc gee. i wish i could go back a month ago and shake myself till i realized that he isn’t the one, that he isn’t ever gonna change. i’m having a final talk with him later today and after that it’s smooth sales to moving on bc i can’t take this shit anymore. he left me, said he “didn’t wanna date anyone” then immediately ran back to this one girl that IGNORED mistreated and devalued his feelings. i srsly hope this bitch ruins him. he deserves nothing more than the pain he put ME through. i gave up so much of my life for him. i gave up having friends for him. i gave up everything, i spent so much time energy, MONEY on that man. js for him to do this to me.

honestly. i don’t think im gonna find the love i want. or the love i NEED. every time i try dating the guys js end up either taking advantage of me, my kindness, my sensitivity. or they cheat, lie, steal, n make me feel like shit for even existing. when will it be my turn to find my person. the one that’ll stay by me no matter what anyone thinks of us, or me. the one that’ll js love me. think i’m pretty. even tho ik im not. i js want someone to tell me it’s gonna be okay n that they love me man.

i hate men.