Long vent, sh trigger warning

Nothings the same, everythings changing. Hell Im gonna work this summer. Growing as a person? yeah I am. Yet, a big part of me wishes to have got the ability to just be a kid when I was younger. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know I still have a long road ahead. I just grew up with having to be the grown up who takes care of everyone and Is always there for everyone. Younger me was basically my family's therapist, cause I'd always listen. I don't mind that, I love to help. But come on, crying to a 9-10 year old Abt how you can't do it anymore, isint the best idea. That lead me to simply just think that way at that age and then there's sh, three failed attempts and a eating disorder( all happened between 11-13, I'm somewhat better now) just now to end up burnt out. I feel like I already lived life. Yet I still have so many things to go through. My birthdays next month and all. Funny how my own parents tell me to act more my age and not like I'm 18. Its cause of the way I talk sometimes and how i basically don't go out, that's what they say. I can't, I find it better to just be home and watch a movie over going out with friends just for the friends to end up drinking and smoking. Yes, you'd be surprised by how many teens my age are already doing both of those things, and no I haven't done that. I keep myself away from that. Back when I was 11-13, I was seeing my school therapist and she was the one who promised to keep my secret just to two days later call my mom to school and tell her everything. As you'd think, my family was scared for me doing that and having those thoughts. And wow this is long now I'm gonna end it here, I just needed somewhere to write down my thoughts.