Does it get better?

Its getting bad again and im scared. Why? Because I'm scared I might not make it out this time, I bearly did last time. I'm scared it's gonna be so bad to the point I'm gonna just go. I'm bearly holding on as is, I don't have any friends irl, everyone sees me as weird and I just don't fit it. Been bullied, lost loved ones, and so much more. So many things most people I know never even had to worry or think Abt the things I worry and think. I don't know chat, I'm just too tired again. I'm having trouble eating again, meals are less and less. I relapsed(sh) after a year and a half of being clean. Does it get better? I hope so, but I'm losing that hope.