I love my bestfriend and I'm a monster
Hi, to begin, here some context : I'm a boy, I love another boy. We're close, really, we're bestfriend actually, and we like to joke a lot about our relation like calling the other "babe" and acting like lovers. That's maybe why I start to think that I may love him ???
[u]Problem :[/u] we meet tow new people, a boy and a girl, she's really pretty, and she starts to send some publication and musics about love, like a music called "I want you to be mine", to my bestfriend.
I'm happy for him, even if this group isn't just friendly now, I always wanted a group of friends without love story and just us, friendly enjoying our life. But even myself get in this shit. I don't want to ruin everything because I don't match their mood (Because I'm jealous or something stupid like that).
I feel my stomach hurts every time when they have little interactions, because I know she maybe loves him, he's not against it, I understand, that's normal. But it hurts so much for no damn reasons, I have to be happy for them, that's my job.
The other thing that makes me feel bad is that, I'm writing about it here, writing how I maybe love him, I feel like I'm betraying him. Like I'm using him for my own pleasure. But I'm honest, and I don't want this, I maybe love him. I need to be honest with myself for a damn fucking minute.
I love him maybe ? I love our interactions, and the more we hug more it gives me butterflies. I want it to stop, but I love him. He understands me like nobody has done before, and I understand him too. We understand each others and we like the same things, we complete each others in some ways. (He likes to say we're black cat and orange cat dynamic, that's kinda cute.)
Writing this makes me feel like I'm not me anymore, like it's the story of somebody else. (I should keep this to myself and never post it, but I need help I guess ? I know other people have worse things than my little love problem and I'm sorry to take your time for this stupid thing.)
Sorry to bother you, and thank you for helping me. I hate love so much.
Man if one day you see this, I'm sorry but I wasn't excepting that the "kiss the homie" would get real in my head haha.
[u]Problem :[/u] we meet tow new people, a boy and a girl, she's really pretty, and she starts to send some publication and musics about love, like a music called "I want you to be mine", to my bestfriend.
I'm happy for him, even if this group isn't just friendly now, I always wanted a group of friends without love story and just us, friendly enjoying our life. But even myself get in this shit. I don't want to ruin everything because I don't match their mood (Because I'm jealous or something stupid like that).
I feel my stomach hurts every time when they have little interactions, because I know she maybe loves him, he's not against it, I understand, that's normal. But it hurts so much for no damn reasons, I have to be happy for them, that's my job.
The other thing that makes me feel bad is that, I'm writing about it here, writing how I maybe love him, I feel like I'm betraying him. Like I'm using him for my own pleasure. But I'm honest, and I don't want this, I maybe love him. I need to be honest with myself for a damn fucking minute.
I love him maybe ? I love our interactions, and the more we hug more it gives me butterflies. I want it to stop, but I love him. He understands me like nobody has done before, and I understand him too. We understand each others and we like the same things, we complete each others in some ways. (He likes to say we're black cat and orange cat dynamic, that's kinda cute.)
Writing this makes me feel like I'm not me anymore, like it's the story of somebody else. (I should keep this to myself and never post it, but I need help I guess ? I know other people have worse things than my little love problem and I'm sorry to take your time for this stupid thing.)
Sorry to bother you, and thank you for helping me. I hate love so much.
Man if one day you see this, I'm sorry but I wasn't excepting that the "kiss the homie" would get real in my head haha.
