Failure's disappointment

I thought I was doing good, that doing my best would be enough, that trying my hardest would pay off, but all I got was disappointment. My academic performance has been greatly disappointing, I try my hardest but it seems like it's not enough. I gave up my sleep, eating, and my free time but I always end up not doing as good as what I want to be.

Today...we had our Proposal Defense for our research paper, a friend who was in the classroom overheard the panelists, and it looked like they just forced themselves to Approve and accept our study, they've made some revisions and recommendations, yes, but still, finding out the fact that they were second guessing us felt really... discouraging and disappointing. As the leader of our group, I feel like it was all my fault, that I failed my responsibility as the leader, that because of me everything did not go as smoothly as I expected it to be. It's even a heavier load when I know that people around me had expectations. Expectations that I wasn't able to reach, yes, they didn't say it out loud, but their silent expectations is poison for me to take in. I'm loosing confidence, I don't want to be a leader anymore, I'm not fit to be a leader. I'm a failure to myself. I am disappointed with myself.