Need to vent...
I just needed a place to write down my feelings because I'm bottling up so much that I feel like I will explode.
I feel out of place and left out. I used to live in a small town where I grew up, but I moved in February 2023 to a city that is 3 hours away now. I moved because my sister met someone and they wanted to move in together very early in their relationship. I just went because they wanted me to watch my niece while they worked then I'll get a job later.
Last year was up and down constantly. They would argue over little things and he had a drinking problem which caused him to run his mouth with insults. For some context on how bad, he could be drinking with his family then he'll start arguing with them suddenly. I just kept my niece out of it as much as I could if they argued and I stayed out of the relationship. I became pretty close with his side of the family.
Anyways, the reason I feel out of place and left out is when I have to do an open-to-close shift at my job, my sister and her bf will go places without me. They would go to the arcade or the mall. It is always when I'm at work. I don't have a car of my own, but my sister has another car in our old town that we recently got fixed up. We were supposed to get it one day, but she changed the plans without letting me know. So I still don't have a car and saving for one will take a bit, since I make about $600 every 2 weeks. I'm tired of about not being able to go anywhere. I'm tired of them going to explore without me. And If I have to ask to be included then I don't want to be included.
And I can't talk to my sister about it. She is the type of person who either takes it the wrong way or does not care. We were also not very close while growing up either.
I feel out of place and left out. I used to live in a small town where I grew up, but I moved in February 2023 to a city that is 3 hours away now. I moved because my sister met someone and they wanted to move in together very early in their relationship. I just went because they wanted me to watch my niece while they worked then I'll get a job later.
Last year was up and down constantly. They would argue over little things and he had a drinking problem which caused him to run his mouth with insults. For some context on how bad, he could be drinking with his family then he'll start arguing with them suddenly. I just kept my niece out of it as much as I could if they argued and I stayed out of the relationship. I became pretty close with his side of the family.
Anyways, the reason I feel out of place and left out is when I have to do an open-to-close shift at my job, my sister and her bf will go places without me. They would go to the arcade or the mall. It is always when I'm at work. I don't have a car of my own, but my sister has another car in our old town that we recently got fixed up. We were supposed to get it one day, but she changed the plans without letting me know. So I still don't have a car and saving for one will take a bit, since I make about $600 every 2 weeks. I'm tired of about not being able to go anywhere. I'm tired of them going to explore without me. And If I have to ask to be included then I don't want to be included.
And I can't talk to my sister about it. She is the type of person who either takes it the wrong way or does not care. We were also not very close while growing up either.
22-25, F
