I’m so angry at my friend for being sick. I wanted to take her out. Am I right to be angry?

I had some plans to surprise my friend with dinner and going to the club today, but she texted me and said she ended up not feeling well. She said she had a headache and nauseous. I told her to just take advice or whatever. The dinner and club wasn’t reserved but I wanted to take her out. She is always working, doing schoolwork. She never gets out to have fun. Nauseous and a little headache is no reason to stay home on your birthday. She called me up and said she still isn’t feeling well so I scolded, “All I wanted to do is spend time with you and you’re going to bail just because of a little headache and nauseous. I mean you should stay home but I really wanted to spend time with you! Happy birthday. Thanks for NOTHING!” And hung up. Headaches go away.
She said I made her feel bad and I told her, “NO. You’re making yourself feel that way. Stop feeding sorry for yourself. You could have toughen it out and celebrated.”

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SW-User

You can be angry. It’s normal for people to have feelings. However, I don’t think it was right to force her to go if she didn’t want to and then got mad after getting declined. It wasn’t good to get all emotional with the phone call.

You cannot control what others do. You can only control your actions. If your friend doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday, then accept that and leave her be. You can keep note of this and not ask her next year. Find new friends who actually want to celebrate with you.

PetiteJulie01 · 22-25, F

@SW-User I am angry at her and I’m not sorry for how I feel! I really wanted to spend time with her but she had to make a lame excuse! I’ll probably just stop asking her because I’m tired of her declining and her not feeling well is no excuse

SW-User

@PetiteJulie01 maybe she isn’t a true friend? Maybe you’re not being true friend. You just have to see it from her perspective. Either she didn’t want spend time with you, or it wasn’t a lame excuse and she was really sick. Right now flu season and it’s getting cold. I’ve been hit with the cold + flu the past weeks, and the last thing I want to do would be going out drinking and partying.

Just have to figure out whether she was dodging you intentionally, or she really was sick. Friends need to be forgiving, but you also need to pick your friends wisely. If she made excuses a lot, then yeah, you should just move on.