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Tired of my current Situation

I made some choices in my life without really thinking about where I was going and now I feel like I've reached a point where I can't go back no matter what I try to do, all the ways out seem to end in a horrible way. I messed up part of my life and I don't think I can change that on my own.
Every day is stressful and I don't know how to deal with it anymore, I say it's okay but I don't even act like I'm with myself anymore, I have obligations that should never happen and if I don't do them I'm treated worse than trash, i try all of what i can but nothing happens, i hate myself so much because of this, i know if i was more emotional stronger maybe i could do something but idk, it seems like no matter how much I try to ask for help, no one listens and they just go on with their lives as if I were nothing, people who are important to me in some way still act like this. Maybe its dumb of me to think in that way but i just i just dont know anymore, i dont even know how i am still here keep going.
I sank and there's no way back, I try to believe in something better sometimes but it doesn't work, nor do doctors. It's hard to have to fight for myself every day without ever working out, I hope I can get out of this one day iguess

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