A continuation of my last post.
In my last post I wrote a bit about how I realized I probably wasn’t a planned pregnancy, but didn’t really mind it since my parents still love and care for me very much. I am super grateful for them, but just had a talk with my dad and nearly spilled a lot of other things I’ve noticed about the same subject, mostly that my dad treats my brother differently than he did me when I was his age.
My brother was planned and I’ve always known this. There is a 5 (but almost 6) year gap between us (I was born at the start of the year, and he was born at the end). Ever since I was 6, I’ve felt the pressure of being another parent to him. I don’t know if it’s connected to how I was raised or because my mom worked a lot when we were younger. Anyways, I always felt a huge responsibility for him and his well-being.
My dad treats my brother softer than he did me. Gives him everything he wants, showers him in attention, bathes him twice a day, buys his favorite food after swimming practice, volleyball and Guitar lessons (3 times a week), let’s him play every video game he wants, let’s him play outside for as long as he wants, doesn’t really care if he does his homework or not, and a lot more, compared to when I was growing up with rules about age restrictions on everything, how long I could be outside for, what my passwords on accounts were, not allowed to play instruments (even though I never explicitly said I wanted to) and to take a quick shower to save water if I was cold.
I’ve felt the need to take care of him and teach him things like basic gratefulness and manners because my dad doesn’t. He often says I’m too hard on him, but I honestly don’t think so. He’s a spoiled, ungrateful little brat who turns 9 soon but has the mentality of a toddler because we was raised without rules and restrictions on what he could and couldn’t have. My dad says it’s because he’s young and growing, but my brother is still sleeping in my parent’s bed, while I felt the pressure of being a parent to him when I was his age, and expected to be there whenever my parents couldn’t.
I don’t think my dad doesn’t love me, I just think he loves my planned brother more, and I’m really sick of hearing that “it’s not like that” and it’s just because I am the older child, and, today: We never told you to take care of him. You did that yourself/to yourself.
My brother was planned and I’ve always known this. There is a 5 (but almost 6) year gap between us (I was born at the start of the year, and he was born at the end). Ever since I was 6, I’ve felt the pressure of being another parent to him. I don’t know if it’s connected to how I was raised or because my mom worked a lot when we were younger. Anyways, I always felt a huge responsibility for him and his well-being.
My dad treats my brother softer than he did me. Gives him everything he wants, showers him in attention, bathes him twice a day, buys his favorite food after swimming practice, volleyball and Guitar lessons (3 times a week), let’s him play every video game he wants, let’s him play outside for as long as he wants, doesn’t really care if he does his homework or not, and a lot more, compared to when I was growing up with rules about age restrictions on everything, how long I could be outside for, what my passwords on accounts were, not allowed to play instruments (even though I never explicitly said I wanted to) and to take a quick shower to save water if I was cold.
I’ve felt the need to take care of him and teach him things like basic gratefulness and manners because my dad doesn’t. He often says I’m too hard on him, but I honestly don’t think so. He’s a spoiled, ungrateful little brat who turns 9 soon but has the mentality of a toddler because we was raised without rules and restrictions on what he could and couldn’t have. My dad says it’s because he’s young and growing, but my brother is still sleeping in my parent’s bed, while I felt the pressure of being a parent to him when I was his age, and expected to be there whenever my parents couldn’t.
I don’t think my dad doesn’t love me, I just think he loves my planned brother more, and I’m really sick of hearing that “it’s not like that” and it’s just because I am the older child, and, today: We never told you to take care of him. You did that yourself/to yourself.
13-15
