i want a friend or something lol

i want to die. i cant even express how much i want to jump from the balcony. i cant think about things other then suicide. i feel so ugly and not good enough. if i tell my friends that i want to kms they will text me "chill relax, its okay" like they cant even tell me something more. im only waiting for fall out boy concert (its in October). after the concert i will kys. im sure. its the only thing thats keeping me alive. every single online "friend" ignores me after 2 weeks. or makes me jealous even if they know that i makes me more depressed. im only looking for ways to kys. i think the best one is jumping from the building. other one is overdosing pills, but i dont have ones. other ways are painful so i dont want them. my parents ignore my mental health. they know about my sh, suicidal thoughts etc. i just cant believe that they cant see it. i dont even go to psychologist. they just ignore it. i hate them sm. i wish i was dead. i really do. love yall xp