I hate my grandma so much.

I swear to god if she lets out one more word i’ll lose it. She ruined my life. She made me feel insecure about me body, making me think i’m obese. She literally called me obese to my face. She ruined my relationship with food. I binge eat as comfort but then she comes by to critisize me for eating too much and then i feel disgusting, that i’m not allowed to eat. She made rules around the house since i live with her. Never eat anything before or right after any meal, no more than a slice of bread (2 if i’m lucky), no second meals and no many snacks. I hate myself and my body because of her. I tried everything, even starving. She keeps going on and on and it drives me crazy. I’m always on the verge of tears when the topic of weight comes up. I’m even horrified of going on a scale of fearing that i gained even half a gram. Her presence alone ruins my mood of what i’m doing at that time. Last time that i went on a scale, which was a year ago and forced, i got 78 kg.. I was so devastated. When she talks i listen to music to block out her voice. Right now she just said that i’ll obviously have diabetes and other stuff because of my obesity if i got it checked. How the hell does she know?! She’s just an elementary school teacher, not a doctor. She can’t just consider that. She literally dosen’t shut up. She’s a neat freak, perfectionist too. She always starts a fight between her and my mom. I cant stand up for myself, otherwise she’ll get angrier and use it against me. I don’t know what to do anymore with my life. I hate her but i also just can’t leave.. it’s not enough my mental health has been horrible recently since i’m recovering from surgery.