idk just my feelings ig?

so hey, i just needed to vent myself so here I am, I dont know whats wrong with me, a year ago I started harming myself and I still do I promised everyone that I wouldnt harm myself but it seems like its an only option available for me, im scared of accepting myself, my belly fat, my face, my facial hair, i dont know what should I do to make people like me, in my life i have always tried gaining attention of people by lying about my health but now when it realy is happening I dont want anyone else to know, I cannot sleep, I have nightmares about blood and the fact i have been depressed at the age of 8 and i wish. to cry but cannot. These are just what i feel so yea byebye