Why am I like this

Im feeling so unhappy right now , I found out Im a annoying idiot and bcuz of this my friend dont want to talk to me ,ive been feeling empty and unworthy before but it got worse after that ,I think I became so delusional to the point I cant speak like a normal person and for that I was unaware of how I was wrong ,I tried to apologize but things didnt came back to normal ,I said a bad stupid thing but I have asked her if i have hurted her but she said i didnt ,but i think shes lying, other bad things I did was ignoring her and being cold because even if was wrong I was sad bcuz I obviously liked her a lot and even if i have other friends i was a isolated person and i was upset she was drifting away instead of giving a second chance , now I see I was the problem and im feeling rotten inside , this is our last school year and i cant wait to see the end of it cause seeing her having fun without me hurts so much , I believe im a empty, worthless ,immature person ,Even if wanst her best friend we talked for years but now she dont even keep contact , that obviously means that im that bad , im sorry for talking too much ,I wish i could talk to my mom about it but im too ashamed to do it. So how can i move on ?

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SW-User

"I know this is such a small problem and Im ashamed about posting this while people have wayy harder struggles"

There will always be others worse off than ourselves, but that is nothing to apologise for or cut yourself up about. That's not really how it works.

I found that friends come and go, pass through, during my younger days. You have no power over others. But you can try to be loyal yourself and care for others, try to be open to them.

And it really is good to talk, to share your feelings with family. Surely mum will listen, no need to be ashamed. Believe it or not, she may even know you better than you know yourself. Try to exchange a few words.

You are young, you are growing up. Nothing in your posts suggests that you are bad. You'll make a good friend for others in time.

Be positive. Things change. Believe in yourself.

All the best.

Gretel · 18-21, F

@SW-User thank you so much for your kind and empathetic words🙏, I feel more relieved ,I will be brave and try to open with my mom
Thank you so much I wish you the best! 🙏