Why am I like this

Im feeling so unhappy right now , I found out Im a annoying idiot and bcuz of this my friend dont want to talk to me ,ive been feeling empty and unworthy before but it got worse after that ,I think I became so delusional to the point I cant speak like a normal person and for that I was unaware of how I was wrong ,I tried to apologize but things didnt came back to normal ,I said a bad stupid thing but I have asked her if i have hurted her but she said i didnt ,but i think shes lying, other bad things I did was ignoring her and being cold because even if was wrong I was sad bcuz I obviously liked her a lot and even if i have other friends i was a isolated person and i was upset she was drifting away instead of giving a second chance , now I see I was the problem and im feeling rotten inside , this is our last school year and i cant wait to see the end of it cause seeing her having fun without me hurts so much , I believe im a empty, worthless ,immature person ,Even if wanst her best friend we talked for years but now she dont even keep contact , that obviously means that im that bad , im sorry for talking too much ,I wish i could talk to my mom about it but im too ashamed to do it. So how can i move on ?