How to be enough?

I've had tons of crushes in my life (every single one lasting at least half a year). I've never had a boyfriend, tho. Recently, my old crush is dating my friend, which i'm actually happy for. But this "old crush's" friend is pretty much my type, you know? First he liked me. I started liking him and kinda got a crush (he is my recent crush). Now he is dry to me, and doesn't care about me at all? I didn't do anything wrong. And the crush before this guy, let's call him Jack, knew that i had a crush on him because i told him. After i told him, he's been planning dates with me and so on, but then leaves me on opened when i agree to go on one. What have i done to deserve this treating? Wtf? Ofc the moment feels good when your crush asks you out but the feeling after you realize he just used you... Fuck. I'm seriously crying rn and thinking about killing myself. I can't tell anybody tho because they'll literally call me "emo pickme" :) maybe if i seriously just kill myself, people would realize what they've done. I've never talked about this but it's horrible. I need someone in my life, someone to care about me. He doesn't have to look good, actually this "old crush's friend" aka my recent crush does NOT look that good, i just... Like him? I just start liking random people. I just need a nice person in my life :'( is that too much to wish for? And people say I have such a good personality?!? How to be enough, if my personality is already good, i'm not too bad looking and I'm the most normal weight that a person can be. Maybe people just see that I'm sensitive + emphatic asf, so they can hurt me as bad as they want and I'll forgive them with no doubt. Fuck this shit seriously