theres no real way to put a title on this.

my dad find out about my scars one day when i was swimming. he tried talking to me for 2 hours straight and i pushed him away cause i was crying for 3-4 hours non stop. he took my phone and computer away so i couldnt talk to anyone. when i finally talked to him i was laying in my bed sobbing while he asked what i used, i lied of course. i dont want him to take it away, he said he was gonna bring me to the mental hospital and i told him no. i didnt want to be alone, i dont know how to act when im alone in a room with no one there. he brought my sister upstairs and she told me she loved me but that hurt me cause i know she doesnt actually. then he brought my step mom up and she said she loved me like i was her own daughter but that hurt the most. she may of meant that but the way she acts around me tells me otherwise.
he started checking up on me more, making sure i leave the house. but i'm slowly slipping away again, im thinking about harming myself more, and how much i want to die. how much i want to leave so my pain could go away. i know thats not the best option but its been in my mind since i was 11. im tired of it.. i really just want to feel pain again but if i do it then im on my way to the hospital and i dont want to experience that right now.
i know this may not make sense to any of you because im switching around the stories, but im so lost, i just want to disappear.