a recent story

5 months ago I went to a new school in Switzerland (something similar to a summer camp). Everyone at that school were more or less new to each other and the place was a really beautiful place . I also met this girl there. She was very pretty but I generally didn’t notice her much in the first few days. A week later I saw her coming to play basketball after school where I normally go and she popped off like no other girl I’ve ever met. She was the same in Volleyball. Days later, I began falling in love with her but I was scared to admit it so I had hidden away my feelings for her. I then got the message that she was dating my best friend and since I wanted my friend to be happy, I chose to let go. It was okay for a few weeks but one night, four of my friends decided to lay under the stars including her and my best friend past bedtime and together we discussed what we would do after this trip in Switzerland. Slowly but surely I started to feel connected with this girl but I was scared to feel that way so I chose to stay quiet. After that night I began to fight myself on the inside and it was a total mess. At the very end of it all I still decided to hide away my feelings until the very last day, I watched her leave first on the first bus to never see her again. Weeks later, I decided to ask her online and she ended up liking me back. But because she thought I was dating another girl, there for she didn’t say anything. And she never dated my best friend, it was all a rumor. I don’t know how to feel because it didn’t have to be this way and now I’m flooded with regret and sadness. There is nothing I can do but to live with all the nostalgic memories that I know I cannot change. There is something about moving on which is so hard for me and I began destroying my physical and mental health. I’ve never really liked a person this much and that’s something that hurts to accept.