I wish I was pretty

Not just pretty. White pretty. Whenever I see a group of white pretty preppy blonde and brunette girls at the mall I always want to sink into the floor and go completely invisible. All my life I’ve been told I was ugly and that I looked like a boy by people from my school and sometimes my friends. Before school ended it was an ongoing trend with the people I call my friends to say I look like a stud and laugh. If you don’t know what that is I advise you look it up. I tried to laugh it off but It genuinely hurt me. I hate dresses and skirts and I’m not allowed to wear makeup. I don’t want im supposed to look girlier than I already do without being dress coded. I literally hate the way I look so much. I hate having masculine features cause im black. I hate my 4c hair. I wish I could wake up brush my hair a little and leave. Why do they get to be pretty and I don't. I can’t even take photos of myself cause I can’t stand seeing the way I look. White girls with light colored eyes don’t understand and will never understand how lucky they are. And don't come in my comments telling me how pretty I am because I’m not. No boy or anyone will look at me and find me attractive or think Im pretty. My face is asymmetrical, my nose is to big, my skin is too dry and my hair is to tender and thick. My dreams of being an actor are bullshit no ones ever gonna wanna cast me for any role. Im too damn ugly people would change the channel if they saw me on their tv. This vent is kinda dramatic i think but Im saying what I feel. Sorry if this wasted your time