Idek how this works, just need to vent

My health is just up and down like a roller coaster. Like I think I’m fine and stuff then the next day I just feel like shit. Like I wanna hurt or kms or something like that but when I did this story thing for a english assignment I made the main character and supporting character kill them self my parents got a phone call and my dad is super concerned for me. He said he can’t live without me and that makes me feel really guilty. Though no one knows I have suicidal thoughts etc. because I haven’t told them the truth.