I really need to vent…
Hi I’m Blake and I’m struggling a lot with my family, friends, school, anxiety, depression, 80HD, feeling like a loser, and so much more.
I’m in my room right now and my parents would get so mad at me if they knew if I was on here. Anyways, I’m am so sick of them! They still treat me like I’m a kid and I’m 14!! It feels like they don’t care about me anymore. I’m close with my mom but she still is kinda a jerk to me. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. I’m the oldest. And my dad is the only one that I really hate. He is either working, out of town. And when he is at home he is a jerk. I know a lot of people say that you shouldn’t keep looking at the future or something like that. But I can’t help it. I can’t wait to move out of my house. My sisters always seem to gang up on me when I’m not in the right mood. They always just find someway to get me in trouble or piss me off. I don’t know why they do it. It feels like ever since I became a teenager they stopped hanging out with me and only use me to take them to target or Starbucks. (Walking and biking because my mom only lets them go if I am coming with them.) So, it feels like none of my family truly loves me. Like the other day I was having a full on panic attack for like 10 minutes straight and my mom walked in and said “your just doing this for attention” like why would she say that? I would never do something that extreme for attention. She says she gets it and then she pulls this crap. At school it’s not much better. Everyone talks about me and how I’m not cool, I’m fat, I have big boobs, etc. I’m not fat but I’m not a good size either. I’m over weight and trying to get better but when ever I’m stressed out or something I just stress eat. I can’t help it and I don’t know how to tell my parents. They never notice it because they are never around. I just want people at school to like me and not remember me as the fat ugly dumb girl. I’m trying to exercise and watch what I’m eating but I just feel like I’m in such a bad place right now. And I was looking for a venting website because me and my family were fighting about me getting a new room and how my room already isn’t clean and how I always try to talk to them at the wrong time. I really wanted to just yell at my dad and tell him “it’s because I’m in a really bad mental health condition right now!!!” But I didn’t I just said “Well, then I can’t wait to move out!” Earlier I was looking for apartments in my area. Because I want to live on my own. I feel like not being around my family would make my mental health so much better. But I’m 14 and I only can if I have enough money. Which I don’t, but I’m trying to get in that place so I can move out as soon as possible. The last thing is what would you do? And what jobs would you recommend? I’m turning 14 on October 16th. I just didn’t want to explain that but here I am lol. So yeah again any jobs that pay well I will look at. Yes I know that the state depends on that I’ll just do some digging. Thanks for your time.
Edit: I also have been struggling since 2nd grade got suspended from destruction to school property in second grade. And have gone to a mental hospital serval time and my mom sometimes threatens to take me back even if I barley act out.
I’m in my room right now and my parents would get so mad at me if they knew if I was on here. Anyways, I’m am so sick of them! They still treat me like I’m a kid and I’m 14!! It feels like they don’t care about me anymore. I’m close with my mom but she still is kinda a jerk to me. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. I’m the oldest. And my dad is the only one that I really hate. He is either working, out of town. And when he is at home he is a jerk. I know a lot of people say that you shouldn’t keep looking at the future or something like that. But I can’t help it. I can’t wait to move out of my house. My sisters always seem to gang up on me when I’m not in the right mood. They always just find someway to get me in trouble or piss me off. I don’t know why they do it. It feels like ever since I became a teenager they stopped hanging out with me and only use me to take them to target or Starbucks. (Walking and biking because my mom only lets them go if I am coming with them.) So, it feels like none of my family truly loves me. Like the other day I was having a full on panic attack for like 10 minutes straight and my mom walked in and said “your just doing this for attention” like why would she say that? I would never do something that extreme for attention. She says she gets it and then she pulls this crap. At school it’s not much better. Everyone talks about me and how I’m not cool, I’m fat, I have big boobs, etc. I’m not fat but I’m not a good size either. I’m over weight and trying to get better but when ever I’m stressed out or something I just stress eat. I can’t help it and I don’t know how to tell my parents. They never notice it because they are never around. I just want people at school to like me and not remember me as the fat ugly dumb girl. I’m trying to exercise and watch what I’m eating but I just feel like I’m in such a bad place right now. And I was looking for a venting website because me and my family were fighting about me getting a new room and how my room already isn’t clean and how I always try to talk to them at the wrong time. I really wanted to just yell at my dad and tell him “it’s because I’m in a really bad mental health condition right now!!!” But I didn’t I just said “Well, then I can’t wait to move out!” Earlier I was looking for apartments in my area. Because I want to live on my own. I feel like not being around my family would make my mental health so much better. But I’m 14 and I only can if I have enough money. Which I don’t, but I’m trying to get in that place so I can move out as soon as possible. The last thing is what would you do? And what jobs would you recommend? I’m turning 14 on October 16th. I just didn’t want to explain that but here I am lol. So yeah again any jobs that pay well I will look at. Yes I know that the state depends on that I’ll just do some digging. Thanks for your time.
Edit: I also have been struggling since 2nd grade got suspended from destruction to school property in second grade. And have gone to a mental hospital serval time and my mom sometimes threatens to take me back even if I barley act out.
16-17, F
