I don't think I can love here...

Sometimes, this escapism of mine is going too far. I can't do anything at all without feeling unhappy or lonely. I just hate everything, and I can't love anyone in this world or plane of existance. This stupid d pandemic made me fall in love with a stupid fictionl character and I know they're not real I know it's hopeless, but I still hold on to that thought, to that feeling of love out of pure desparation and loneliness. I don't love anyone here, but that doesn't mean I don't care. The only person or being I can love doesn't exist here. They're not real and that fact keeps breaking me every single time, and I can't cope without the things that helped me get through the hardest times but it's making me insane. I'm too caught up in this fantasy world in my head, that I can't leave my comfort space any more! It's like I'm trapped..

Help me...

Love me..