A random vent. (Not that anyone cares nor I expect them to)
I just write out my feelings randomly so feel free to ignore.
It helps me process things in my head, I was in a f*cked up state of mind last year. It was devastating. It was baffling for my mind to grasp it all. I am nowhere perfect now. Just numb but it's definitely more calming to be numb than to feel a vast number of emotions. Overwhelming you. So many questions. Some answered, some leading to even more questions, some questioning my reality.
I didn't want to progress a day last year. Another year has passed. Less alcohol to numb myself. Less weed. Maybe, it's a good sign. Maybe its more calming to feel nothing when you felt so much at once.
Like I just remembered me drinking vigorously to pass the nights. Have weed in any form I could or even mix both. Yes, I do still drink but I lost interest lol. I am like meh to everything now. Nothing seems to make me happy and nothing can break me further. I am ruthless and cold to people who try to hurt me. I wasn't like this. I would shut up but then again "You don't always have a choice in what life has to offer."
I stopped seeking answers. I stopped feeling stuff. Meh is getting better lol. Just had a chick call me pessimistic and dark. She isn't wrong. I am just being defensive than being offensive. Dark is good, I guess.
It helps me process things in my head, I was in a f*cked up state of mind last year. It was devastating. It was baffling for my mind to grasp it all. I am nowhere perfect now. Just numb but it's definitely more calming to be numb than to feel a vast number of emotions. Overwhelming you. So many questions. Some answered, some leading to even more questions, some questioning my reality.
I didn't want to progress a day last year. Another year has passed. Less alcohol to numb myself. Less weed. Maybe, it's a good sign. Maybe its more calming to feel nothing when you felt so much at once.
Like I just remembered me drinking vigorously to pass the nights. Have weed in any form I could or even mix both. Yes, I do still drink but I lost interest lol. I am like meh to everything now. Nothing seems to make me happy and nothing can break me further. I am ruthless and cold to people who try to hurt me. I wasn't like this. I would shut up but then again "You don't always have a choice in what life has to offer."
I stopped seeking answers. I stopped feeling stuff. Meh is getting better lol. Just had a chick call me pessimistic and dark. She isn't wrong. I am just being defensive than being offensive. Dark is good, I guess.
