Idk what i feel

idk what i feel? like i can't explain it , am i mad or sad?? cuz i'm mad at one thing and then a minute later i'm sad because i'm mad:( people around me is so depressing , they don't understand me like it's ok if they don't but they also show me that they don't care about me too. it's so hard too , to express my emotions because i don't want them to look at me as a bad person just because i show my emotions so i really keep my emotions.