i cant do this abymore

i will never forgive my mother for giving birth to me im litetally going insane i cant do this anymofe i dont want this life abymore i just wish i could gey hit by a train and die instantly then nothing would natter anymore why should i give things an importance just bdcause the majority does?? I want to scream anf destroy everuthing around me everything makes me itchy and im naseous and im getting the ick just thinking abiut my existence it will never get better for me i just cant keep dof8ng this