Hi. Umm i feel like i am not good enough for my family.

Dont get me wrong but i feel like it would be easier if i wasn't born. I dont know why but every time i feel overjoyed or i am over the moon someone has to ruined it and it's not their fault not at all. But people criticise everything i do and i know that they do it with a good thought but it hurts. It hurts to hear those things from the mouth of someone i really value and love and really respect. And i feel bad about feeling like this. I mean that when i get to a point i am comfortable and happy everything just goes down and i can't talk about my feelings because i dont like talking about them it makes me feel super guilty, because i feel like i am dumping all of it on the person that is listening. It feels like i am putting a new weight and burden on their shoulders and i am doing that on a million strangers and thats why i sh. I do it because i need to, so people around me dont have to. And i needed to vent because if i dont i dont i will be alive rn. I hope i dont trigger someone :))